Feel the Noise

The last few days have been relatively eventful. It started with regaining my sanity, which I expect to lose again any day now, and starting work at Nemos. I found that, so far, I love my new job; though I will most likely be complaining about it here shortly. It moved on to almost being evicted from my house, which ended with Jon and Jane breaking up yet again then getting back together and Jon decided to go back to Alaska for 6 months before returning for school.
I cleaned the house from top to bottom, which gives me a sort of odd pleasure for reasons that I'm not so sure about but will blame on my anal retentive parents and strange upbringing if asked. After I cleaned, Jon invited his friend Chris over. I enjoyed hanging out with them and Chris seemed to cheer Jon up, though he spent three consecutive days here and the two of them destroyed the house that I had just cleaned and now it's due for another good cleaning.
Last night was the kicker to my last few days. I went to the Q, a local gay bar that I frequently visit since it's the only one not full of creepy old men that try and pick up young guys, because it was Karaoke night and I wanted to see what was going on. I ran into Robbie, we talked for a while before he got up to sing Whiskey Lullaby. Watching him up there I felt something. Not love but something else, I felt a longing, I missed him. And in that moment, though the noise of the crowed bar, I realized that I'm still alive. I can still feel. After Jonny and I broke up 6 months ago I thought that my emotions had died and I was a wandering shell. I realized last night that that is not the case and I thank Robbie for that. Though I still miss him, I enjoy the fact that I am able to find some one that I can miss again. Which may lead to one day being able to find love again. I still think that I am not in the position to have love in my life currently it is nice to think that I may and I am not dead yet, I'm still kicking.